I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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