i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
