i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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