just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
