she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
