Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
