He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
