Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
