he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
