it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
