Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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