Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
