There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I am available for nakedness
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
