did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
