i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
