i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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