nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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