Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
