they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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