Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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