Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
