Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
