Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
His hands were made for my vagina.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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