I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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