Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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