I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
