It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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