Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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