note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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