absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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