Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
