White coat. Heels.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
