I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
