The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
