too bad you live with your parents still
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
