My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
