If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
