woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
