Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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