I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize