you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
