I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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