Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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