youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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