Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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