i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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