And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
