i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
