But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
