im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
