Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
