Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
