Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
