Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Randomize
