just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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