we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
