babies were throwing up all over the place
high people should be assigned attendants
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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