I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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