very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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