thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
