I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
