Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
it glows. i had to have it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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