It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
