A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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