I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
