just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
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