This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize