sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
